Titwitty may be the best informed medical expert we have. He is certainly the grimmest one. If only he would cheer up! Smile! TWitty!
With apologies to the great W.S. Gilbert
On a tree by a river a little tom-tit
Sang Whitty, titWhitty, titWhitty!
And I said to him, ‘Dicky-bird, why do you sit
Singing Whitty, titWhitty, titWhitty?’
‘The look on your face is as grim as the grave.
Can’t you cheer us all up with a smile and a wave?
Don’t you know, Whitty moaned, that I’m Boris’s slave.
It’s so shitty! So shitty! So shitty!
May we ask you, titWhitty, why you never disclose
The point of the merciless rules you impose?
Your Lock-up’s a Cock-up as everyone knows,
Show pity! titWhitty. Show pity!
I am trapped and tormented and racked by despair.
I shall die of frustration and boredom, I swear.
If you don’t die of Covid, why the hell should I care?
Said Whitty, titWhitty, titWhitty!
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© 2020 Alan Fenton